Commentary

A call to arms

January 8, 2023 4:01 pm
U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Florida, photographed inside the Rayburn House Office Building. Gaetz voted 'present' on the 15th ballot for Speaker of the House, enabling California Rep. Kevin McCarthy to win. Credit: Alex Wong/Getty Images

U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Florida, photographed inside the Rayburn House Office Building. Gaetz voted ‘present’ on the 15th ballot for Speaker of the House, enabling California Rep. Kevin McCarthy to win. Credit: Alex Wong/Getty Images

This unanimous Declaration of all true Americans:

When in the Course of foolish human events, such as Speaker of the House of Representatives elections, it becomes necessary for we the people to dissolve the political charades which have connected those silly not yet sworn in Members of Congress and to assume the powers of the Laws of Nature, then a decent respect for humankind requires that we should declare the causes which impel us to separate from the Make America Great Again tribe and instead Make America Good Again Maybe.

Cause 1 of our problems: Former President Donald Trump.

Cause 2 of our problems:  arrogance, conceit, pomposity, self indulgence, ignorance.

Cause 3 – Members of Congress who place their self interest ahead of America’s interests.

Individuals elected to high public office must personally perform five acts of kindness for strangers every day before they are allowed to vote on or perform any important matters. 

Cause 4- Judges who pretend to possess unique insight into the minds and hearts of famous folks dead for 200 years and more (“So Mr. Madison, Morris, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, Washington, Jay, and Hamilton, we know what you really thought about women having rights and we know you would want us to strike down any laws that protect privacy, health care, free speech, voting rights, minority rights as limits on majority rule, and reapportionment. We know you would have worked very hard to ignore the structural changes later created by the 14th Amendment as well so those rights should not really count.”)

Therefore, to remedy the true threats to democracy in our great land, we now propose these self-evident truths:

Persons accusing others of vote stealing, vote manipulation, vote fraud without clear documentation should be sentenced to four score and seven weeks of complete silence and banned for life from social media, podcasts, TV, and radio.

Political people who do things that, if known, would embarrass their mothers; as well as all others who lie, cheat, or hurt others should be exiled to a cold, wintry, vacant very South Atlantic island and banned for life from holding office.

Individuals elected to high public office must personally perform five acts of kindness for strangers every day before they are allowed to vote on or perform any important matters. 

Application of these universal principles might, just might, shock some common sense into our leaders and in small measure, make life, freedom, and justice better for all.



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Larry Woods
Larry Woods

Larry Woods is a civil rights attorney for the past 50 years who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (at the very back), registered voters in Mississippi, protested several wars/military interventions and has taught constitutional and criminal law for 50 years at Tennessee State University. With thanks to a little of Mark Twain, the Declaration of Independence, the Gettysburg Address, and our Constitution.

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